It’s the perfect prospect that you have been communicating with for months, feeling it was a done deal, then they choose a competitor.

Maybe it’s the day you were off your game and bombed a keynote or a client presentation.

It’s these kinds of events that can define you and paralyze your momentum because you feel they are were your fault.

What happens is that they affect us at an emotional level. We feel awful about them. They are heavy, they weigh on us, and they are exhausting to carry. But we do.

We feel compelled to dwell on them. We overthink the situation, always certain we could have done something different that would have more positively affected the outcome but missed it. Not a great place to be mentally.

Instead, I’d like you to consider that what is rolling around in your head is a descriptor of what happened, not you. What I mean by this is that you have been changed or affected in some way but that you can continue to move forward. It may slow you down, but it doesn’t stop you.

To the best of your ability, take yourself out of the picture. Yes, you were involved, but it’s probably not all about you. In situations like these, we tend to over-emphasize our self-importance and our ability to impact the outcome; we take on all of the responsibility. It becomes our fault, and when that happens, we turn inward and have awful conversations with ourselves.

Here are three steps to help you move forward.
First, examine what you are feeling. Emotion is like a smeared windshield. You can’t see clearly through it, and you need to do something about them before you continue. Consider the things that you dwell on, complain about, or that keep you up at night. You act or feel this way because it’s a subconscious “clue” that you need to do something different. Ditch the emotion, retain the lesson.

Second, what is the feedback that is specifically meant for you? You might need to develop new skills to get the gig that you want. Uplevel your Zoom skills? Engage with someone to review your keynote? Have your mastermind review your training outline. Consider this feedback a gift because it will help you move forward.

Third, do something with what you’ve learned. Keep moving forward with your prospecting because it didn’t happen this time, but it will at some point. Beef up the amount of time that you spend with people who encourage you to be your best self in your business.

Just remember, these moments can define you and stop you in your tracks, or the event can be the pivot point to put you on the path to exactly where you want to go.

You get to choose.

Here’s wishing you the Clarity you deserve!

Debbie Peterson